Unconformity Conformity

Yes this title could be counteractive or contradictory, but that is the point. Unconformity is the inability to conform. Conformity is compliance with standards, rules or laws.

Now, I know a joke that has to be explained is not a very good one. The same may be said for a  snarky title.

Point….  This world makes it out like it’s a good thing, to be unconformable. To never settle, to never agree with others who came before you. To have your own opinions and your own thoughts and to never to accept someone else’s as their own.  Yes this is all well and good. Individuals. We are that. But the humor I find is that with everyone trying to be their own person and to have their own ways, well they are becoming more alike, and less extraordinary.

I am a Christian, I believe that God made us all unique. I believe that we all have our own purpose and gift. I believe that we are all here to Love each other, and to Love and Honor God.

Me, personally I do not really care for people. Shocker and hypocritical, I am aware. I am a hypocrite everyday. I am a homeschooling mom, and everyday I tell my kids to better than I am. I tell them to go to bed early, I don’t. I tell them to not yell, I do. I tell them to respect and talk nice to each other, I fail. I am hurtfully and completely aware of my failings. I tell them to put God first, to not be selfish, to think of others, when so often I do not.  Now I can say me personally, that many times when I say this and when I write this down, this is my mirror for myself. Black and white on paper or screen, my sign to change. Now back to everyone else. just proving my humanity and flaws.

There are so many hypocrites in the world. A lot of them being Christians.

 

When we call for change and peace and prosperity. Are we accountable as well, or is this something that we demand and expect on a silver platter gently handed to us. Do we get to sit back, and wait… and wait….  and wait….  while yelling or quietly, judging and pointing fingers?

People get upset at injustice, which there is plenty of, but do we do anything about it? We yell, riot, and make more people mad about the same cause, and expect results.

Sorry nothing is going to change!

If you want to fix something you are passionate about follow the good. Follow the helpers follow the one’s you respect. Do not follow and aggravate the already aggravated. Following the hate will not lead anywhere good. Hate will not bring change.

Following the one’s you admire, will bring yourself peace, wisdom, courage and maybe a light to this darkened world.

If you  don’t like cops in your area, feel they treat people unfair. What if you took a step to work with them from the inside. If you feel like the problem is in front of you, stand up, but do not do it from hate. Do not stand up for hatred of people, stand up for the one’s you love.

If you feel that politics are crooked, take time to read more, from all sides. If you are passionate follow the one’s you respect. But yelling and screaming at the one’s you hate will not get anywhere.

If you do not like what the schools are teaching or feel that they may be unsafe, school your own children. Not because you hate others but because you love them.

Be the light. Be positive. Be the spark. The spark may light a flint, but be careful what is under the flint, what is going to burn, love or hate?

We have enough hatred in the sin fallen world. We will learn so much more if we try to respect each other.  If we study history and investigate or ask questions of why people have their opinions, we will learn, even if we still disagree, we will have better foundation for it.

 

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Quicksand

You are drowning. Not quickly. You are slowly sinking, how far down are you?

Are you at your ankles, your feet just being covered almost like when you sit at the beach and cover the top of your foot with sand? This sand though is not soft and grainy, this sand is like mud and heavy like when you are at the edge of the ocean and sink your feet in when the waves sweep up to the shore. Where it takes some effort to get your feet back out of it.

Effort is key.

Are you waist deep in the quicksand? Like you are pulling a whole other person with you when you try to walk forward? Or like you are pushing a car with a dead battery out of the road with it in neutral?

Now what is even more tricky is if the quicksand is up to your shoulders, almost up your neck. Where the only free thing is your head, It holds your brain, your eyes, ears and nose. Your shoulders feel heavy, you turn your whole body to turn your head, you are moving so slow that everyone else seems like they are fast-warded.

Even if you feel stuck to the point that only your eyes and top of your head are out. Well you are still in luck your brain is fitting for air for you.

This quicksand is not quick, why that name I do not know.

Now from what I remember about quicksand, you can not struggle, you can not wiggle, you can not crawl out of it. You have to pulled out of it quickly. You can not sit there and take your time to think about it, most of all you can not give up.

I am using quicksand as a description of life.

When you feel stuck, and like you are sinking…… or that life is overwhelming and you can see no change in your future. If you ever feel like you should just make yourself comfortable in this quicksand life. Please do not. Please do not feel like slowly drowning is the way your going to get out of this life.  Yes it will work, yes it will happen, if you do not TRY.

Crawling before walking, walking before running, stepping before jumping. These are the steps we watch our young children follow. But as adults we have to follow them too.

Now I know I said you can not get out of quicksand by all these things, that you have to be lifted out of the quicksand. You lift yourself out of the quicksand with your mind, with your heart, with your soul, with your longing to live for the others who love you, even if not for yourself. But the only you will stay out of that quicksand and not slide back is to have God pull you out. Now God can give the rope to get out, and he will pull, but you have to put your arms up and grab it without letting go.

I was in quicksand, I was almost comfortable with it, but this little nagging voice, the tired heart and body that couldn’t keep up with my kids. I am freshly out of it.

So, I wanted to share that you are not stuck unless you choose to be.

Grab the rope!!!!!!!!!!!

Who are you?

First you are a child of God!

If you do not know who you are, you are letting other people tell you who you are. You are letting others define and sculpt and make you into who they want you to be.

This is not always done consciously.

I recently have decided that I am trying to learn who I am. Call it a mid-life crisis, hope this not my mid life point, but however it is my crisis of self.

Back story, I was in a really bad relationship got pregnant.  Further back story, I never loved myself or planned a future for myself.

So then I had to plan a future not just for me, but for this baby. So I turn to God!! He saves me and places people in my life to love and support me. He gives me the courage to leave my ugly abusive relationship.

I find myself in a new relationship with an awesome man who not only loves me but my son as well. So grateful!

I hated who I used to be, so I threw it all away, threw it all down the drain, every little bit of who I used to be. Every little bit!

So these new people, things and jobs defined me. I was completely starting over. Every compliment I got I grew with that, also every insult or criticism I shrunk with that.

Fast forward nine years with a new addition (little girl). It brings me to terms with the challenges of my past. I helps me remember who I was is still part of who I am.

God is helping me remember things I used to like about myself. He is helping me like Myself! He helping me become someone to like.

I let myself go for years, I didn’t deserve to be happy, I didn’t deserve all the blessings I had received in spite of the life I used to live. I made myself miserable.

I had and have everything I could possibly want to make happy and content and loving. But I was missing the key aspect, loving myself.

How can I give love when I am empty? I have people who love me, but I am still torturing myself from past, I still have not forgiven myself.

So when I got married I threw all I was out the window to be become a completely brand new me. Trying to shape myself into some who could be loved.  But I forgot to bring me.

My husband is a saint for keeping me and loving me with all my self struggles. He has always said that I was a diamond in rough. He would see the glimmers of love I had through my growth of tough skin, he could see the sparkle in my sarcastic smile, he could see the warmth of my cold heart.

Now I can finally see those things too. I thank God that he placed this man in my life to love me before I could. I thank God that he placed this man in my life to believe in me before I could.

He has helped me crack this shell, polish the charcoal of my heart and soul. He has helped me love myself enough to be able to have the drive and passion to love and hope to help others love themselves.

But also I am remembering that who I used to be was not all bad, I have always been a child of God, I just may not of always known it. I am not my past or mistakes, but I will keep them to learn from them and I will share them for others to learn from. I will not hide from them anymore.

Like it or not!.! 😉