Everyone wants things real, a real designer handbag, name brand clothes, the newest latest veicles and electonics. Material things people want them to be real. Of course no one wants to pay full price.
But what about people? Do you like authentic people? Real people? People who will tell you the truth, tell you how it is.
Do you like people who are fake? people who will smile in your face and talk crap as soon as you walk away. We all know them. But we probably just do the same thing to them. It is easier to keep peace that way.
Well I, have always prided myself on being real, being blunt, truthful. I wouldn’t pretend to like someone. Why waste that energy?? Really?
Now I am finally seeing that it is too easy to be “real” but it is also hurtful. If you do not like someone what is the harm in not telling them? What is the harm of being polite even to others who are not? The golden rule is drilled into our brains as kids: Treat others how you want to be treated. Well I know I was not the only person to twist that around, others treated me the way they wanted to be treated.
Also what if people have a low self esteem and didn’t think they were good enough to deserve better treatment? Do you think they treat people nicely?
What made me start digging into this topic was being a mom. I have 4 kids all different ages in different seasons of their lives. Me being “authentic” is not a great a thing.
I need to learn how to have a happy face… I need a constant consistent no matter what is going on happy face. I am a person who is happy or sad or mad and it shows out right which one I am, I show on face, shoulders and actions, but also my words. I always thought this was a good thing no one would have to guess. You would know that those feelings are genuine. I had heard that what glitters isn’t always gold. That people tend to act happier and more put together than they really are. So I did not want to be “fake”.
Now more than anything I want to be fake, fake it til you make it. I want to never have my children see me upset, or sad, and definetely not mad, only 8 years it took me to realize how terrible it is to have a real authentic feeling parent, how dangerous to not have my own feelings under control, how can I expect my kids to know how to handle disappointment and anger when all I ever show is that it is ok to let those feelings control me, to ask kids to not throw fits, but its ok if I have my own version of a temper tantrum if I burn dinner, or if break a plate. I tell you now I am harder on myself than my kids. I don’t yell about spilled milk, I may grumble under my breath, but when I spill, break, or burn I get upset at myself out loud.
How do you have a constant happy face? I used to hate bubbly people. Now I am desperately trying to become one. I do not have any reasons to be unhappy but I never learned to be constantly happy to shove little tiny worried away where they belong, they do not need to be front and center constantly. That’s how my mind works it brings little nagging things to the front until they don’t seem so little. but I can’t focus on the good things the overwhelming majority of my life.
My life verse for awhile until I believe it… “I have learned the secret of being content no matter what happens.” Phillipians 4:12